Ruth's Diary


It's never good to start the day on a sour note but Dad pointed out a hateful message among the comments beneath. I could easily remove it but I'm actually going to leave it there, just to demonstrate something: no matter where I go or what I do in life, I always make an enemy. So I've given up trying to appease everyone. (Saying that, Rob and Janine have legitimate reasons so it's pretty much my fault.) But when I read that long rant of a message my first reaction was: "Who the hell is he?" This is a new one: someone I don't know hates me and thinks I'm "a lousy excuse for a human". You're comparing me to a dictator then?

Now, I know he's Welsh. From the way he wrote it seems he thinks I'm one of 'those' English who misunderstands Wales and gives it a lower status to England. Now I like Wales, I think it's better than England. Have I ever said anything negative about Wales on here? Sure it has a set of problems but what country doesn't? Now if you think, whoever you are, that I've misunderstood some aspect of Welsh history then explain it to me. You clearly know who I am and I've come here to learn. If I ever talk about Welsh affairs, it's how I understand them, so again, explain it to me if you think I have the wrong idea. And your comment with the Churches? I don't get what point you're trying to make. I'm not speaking out against Welsh Churches since they're all diverse and different, I just said I don't like modern services. Plus it was in English, so my "own language"? Why the hell would I go to a Welsh (or any other language) service if I didn't understand it?

So who the hell are you? You said we were in a seminar class last year. Please specify. And whoever wrote after you called you "Rob". (Not the one mentioned above, he's June's boyfriend. That's right, my best friend's boyfriend doesn't like me but we still get along.) I've been in several seminar classes and I never learn half the names of the people who attend them. You're not the guy with a partial beard in Bernard Gowers' class are you? If that's the case we never said 2 words to each other. Yet you pass judgement on me. You don't even know me. I don't insult people to make them feel lousy, I use insults as a method of criticism. I said my former flat mates were irresponsible, it didn't mean I didn't like them. The fact that they (Nikki especially, it seems) reacted badly is my own fault, I should have been brave enough to tell them my thoughts that they should clean up their own mess as soon as they created one. But I was the coward and insulted them behind their backs, partly because I never thought they'd bother reading this diary. Boy was I surprised. So why don't I insult my current flat mates you ask? 'cos they're easy to get along with as well as to live with.

And regarding Facebook, I know it's shallow to make a 'fan page' of myself, but I didn't feel putting a link in my profile was enough. You're also a hypocrite in some ways: you said that "mediocre people can get through life without pissing people off", but then you call me mediocre? And you also call me lousy. But you tell me this over the internet with little identification of yourself and you never even talked to me nor I you. So what does that make you? (Yet I'm assuming I never talked to this guy at all. I'm hypocrisy on legs but at least I know it.)

I don't even know why I'm talking to you anymore, you clearly won't be reading this. I guess it's for everyone else. Very few people actually truly know me, as in, I reveal all of myself to them. I don't trust people to get too close. June knows me best (as in, I feel I can confide in her), Nathan knows which buttons to press. To this day I'm surprised how much of myself I revealed to Conor, but I still don't think he understands me too well. (I said this to you personally back in Toronto, remember?) All of my other good friends know my talents, my interests and my hobbies, as well as some of my more secretive ambitions, but they only see perhaps 2, 3 or even 4 versions of me. How many versions of me are there? God knows, I'd have to make a list.

As for the nature of internet ranting, I'm going to use Sajida's point here: it's my space to do with whatever I like and I can write whatever I want. It's only my opinion, it doesn't count towards anything, so don't take it too deeply. I suppose a shining example of a courteous internet ranter/blogger would be Fred Gallagher (aka Piro from He never insults anyone and never writes an angry rant. In fact, he's always humble. One time he felt he was being slandered and simply told his side of the story with little ill-feeling. But my style is more like that of Garry Webber (aka Lothar from, who rarely writes anything pleasant (okay, that's exaggerated), actually puts shedloads of rage into his angriest rants and if he hates someone so badly he will actually put their contact details onto the comic's website so people can spam and send hate mail to the person he loathes. That's rather extreme, so I simply choose not to do it. I mean, hey, my accounts of people are vague enough so that no one I've mentioned on here can be easily tracked down. Only hired professionals would be able to and I don't see any reason why anyone I know would be wanted by either the police or a criminal gang.

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