Ruth's Diary


I've finally finished The Stepmanford Ukes. I completed my goal of finishing it before Easter but I had wanted it done a couple of weeks ago. However, I'd prefer to talk about the funniest, cleverest version of the Lord's Prayer I've ever found. Its retardedness also proves that you
just can't modernise everything.

Our Father, who art in Heaven
Hallowed be Thy name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On Earth as it is in Heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those that trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever
Our Father, who 0wnz heaven,
j00 r0ck!
May all 0ur base someday be belong to you! May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe.
And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz,
just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong,
and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd appreciate it.
For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever, 4m3n.

The one on the right I found in a forum post by someone called Galgalid at, which I used to watch Bubblegum Crisis: Tokyo 2040. The site advertises interesting forum discussion threads and I found that post among a semi-religious discussion. For those who don't understand at least one (or perhaps all) of the obscure references, I'll explain them to you.

First of all, a small amount of it is written in L337. If all of it was written in L337 (which it isn't), it would be incomprehensible. (Type in Leet in wikipedia, I did just now and it turns out to have had an existence since the 1980s.) So that explains the strange spelling. Now I'm surprised that the first line reads "who 0wnz heaven" since 'ownz' or 'ownzed' has not been said for quite a while. These days kids say 'pwn' or 'pwned' when they rule at something. The third line is a reference to a meme-yet another word in the netspeak dictionary-otherwise known as a video so popular people kept linking it, tributing it and parodying it so that it's become a pop culture icon all on its own. The video in question is an introduction to a video game that was released for the Sega Megadrive back in 1991. What makes it so...*cough* special is that the game developers, Toaplan, did not bother hiring a professional translator so the English is...superbly substandard. The famous quote that the 3rd line references is: "All your base are belong to us", which is also the name given to the cult of that dodgy video.

"warez" refers to any software. "mp3z"=mp3s. "pr0n" is porn. Unless I'm wrong but I'm quite certain I'm not. The "phat pipe" would be the internet connection. "n00b lamerz" is actually a term I've never come across, but a n00b or noob is basically a newbie to someplace, usually an online forum or game, who knows nothing and refuses to learn, often represented as having a massive ego. The netspeak equivalent of "lead us not into temptation" is basically asking that whoever's praying isn't hopping mad if he successfully hacks a server. I think that's everything explained.

I also feel like talking about the weather again. Mum sent me an email showing her concern at the news we might experience a storm today. Well it's...still raining, it was a surprise when the rain stopped this afternoon. The wind has definitely picked up, it was calm this morning. Also it seems there might have been a flood warning or two issued. This morning, the roads that led directly to the seafront were closed off, so that drastically changed the route of my bus (501). It still came to the stop among these halls, but instead of driving along the pier road it turned left towards the council hall and rejoined the High Street halfway along its usual length along there. Skipped several stops it did. I was also surprised by a strangely pitched siren going off this morning and found the source to be a coastguard patrol car. I think it's still out and about since I've been hearing the siren go off a couple of times tonight. God the sea must be violent, I can hear it clearly inside my room-that's rare.

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